Sirius’s Magic Concoction
by CordialRush
Summary: There is a Christmas Party going on in the Heads Dorm, and Sirius has managed to make a drink that only Lily was brave enough to have alot of. The result ending in her being completley hammered. I hope its funny but my idea of humour is pretty twisted. Rated M for idk i cant remeber if there is swears in it lol ONESHOT


A year seven Christmas party was being held in the heads dormitories. All likeable Seventh Years were allowed in, along with some lucky fiths or sixes. The room was trashed, some strange jazz song mixed with a ballad was playing from a radio, which seemed to be faltering in and out of tune. If Lily was sober, she would assume it was the magic in the air, but since she isn't, she's wearing a party crown and telling people that Sirius is a big fat dog. Which, thankfully, they don't believe.

Over in the corner was a table, which James had transfigured a quill into. On the table, were a mixture of muggle and wizard drinks. It was Sirius's brilliant idea to mix the vodka and firewhisky and then give it to Lily. The end result had her like this; unable to walk straight.

Emmeline Peterson, a seventh year who got let in because she is a friend of Lily's, was sitting in the corner looking amusedly at the scene in front of her. She had refused to drink because she can't handle alcohol and was incredibly bored.

'Emzers...' Lily said, hardly coherent. 'Emily, I think, oh, your not Emmie, Hi, Professor Slughorrrrn...'

'Yes, Lily.' Said Emmeline, raising her eyes brows and folding her arms. 'I am Emmie — Emmeline, I mean. Not Slughorn.'

'Okay, Professor. But did you know that Sirius can turn into a fat doggy?' She giggled stupidly, her eyes unfocused.

'No, I did not know that.' Said Emmeline, looking amused. 'Come sit down next to me, Lily, before you do anything you might regret in the morning.'

'Okay, Professor, But I don't think I should be sitting next to you because you look like a pedo — a pedophile, one of those people, you know? And if Mcgonnagall sees me sitting next to you she might put you in detention because you're a bad, bad boy.'

'But I'm not even Slughorn.' Emmeline grinned, in spite of herself.

'Professor, don't say no to your true self, like how Sirius denies he is a fat dog. I'm gonna go find James, he has horns, you know. That makes him horny. Hahahah.' Lily said seriously, then tottered drunkily away.

Emmeline, sighing tiredly, was jumping at the chance of something to do and got up and followed Lily, catching up to her quick.

Emmeline walked and Lily staggered across the room, through the people dancing to the absurd music and through some snogging couples and over to the fireplace, where James sat, laughing with Remus, on the hearth rug.

'Hello, James!' Said Lily brightley and popping herself down next to her boyfriend, And Emmeline followed suit, sitting across from them and next to Remus.

'Hey, Lily, Emmeline.' James said, and Remus nodded in greeting.

'That's professor Slughorn, James.' Said Lily, pointing at somewhere over Emmeline's shoulder. 'Sorry, professor, his eye sight is very bad without his glasses, you know. Blind as a bat.'

'That's quite alright. But he is wearing glasses.' Laughed Emmeline, ignoring James and Remus's faces.

'He is? Really?' She prodded James's face until she found his glasses, then removed them from his face and placed them on her own. 'Help me! I'm blind!'

'Lily, what have you taken?' Asked Remus seriously, sounding concerned.

'Cocaine's one helluva drugggg.' Whispered James, but nobody heard. (A/N: Okay sorry I had to)

'She took six shots of Sirius's Magic Concoction.' Emmeline answered grimly.

'Six! Christ Lily you must be hammered!' Yelped James in shock.

'Hey, Hey, James! Guess what?' She Said blindly, staring at what she thought was James, but was really a sofa.

'What, Lily? And can I have my glasses back?'

'Oh yeah, your glasses.' She Said stupidly. 'I just can't find them...'

'You're wearing them, Lilykins.'

'Oh! Okay, here you go.'

'Thanks. What did you want to tell me?'

'You know Sirius?' She whispered.

'Yes, I know him.'

'He is a fatass dog.'

Here, James and Remus burst out laughing, while Emmeline watched blankly.

'Lily, I think you should go to bed.' Said James, helping Lily stand up.

'Noooooooo, I like it here.' She whined, but accepted James's helping hand. 'I wanna stay with the Prefect, Slughorn and the horned boyyyyy!'

James picked her up and hoisted her over his shoulder, just as she began to kick and scream like a child having a tantrum.

James considered putting Lily in her own room, but he heard voices coming from in there, and thought Sirius might be having a foursome in there, so he left that alone. Thankfully his own room was empty so he placed Lily down on his bed and she immediately stopped screaming. Instead she just lay there, staring up at James with lust.

James put a sheet over her, then two quidditch jumpers, then another sheet, and finally a quilt.

Within seconds Lily had her eyes closed, but when James made for the exit, she spoke in a hoarse voice, 'lie.'

'What?'

'Lie down.' She said simply, patting the space of bed to her left. 'Please.'

James couldn't think of an arguement, not that he wanted one or that it would work, he couldn't say no to those green eyes anyway. As he began to get changed, Lily watched him silently. She watched him go into his boxers, then slide off two massive wooly jumpers. When he got into bed, neither of them said anything. Then Lily spoke, breaking the silence.

'I know your horns are making you horny so hmmph!' She said, as though she wanted the last word of an arguement.

James chuckled, and they both soon fell asleep.

4 hours later, James was woke up by Lily's Cry of, 'IS THERE ADVIL IN THE WIZARDING WORLD?'


End file.
